We all have our comfort systems — routines, habits, mindsets, even relationships — that once served us well. Maybe they helped us survive a difficult period, reach a goal, or feel safe in chaos. But here’s the truth: what works for us at one stage of life may quietly outlive its usefulness at the next.
And that’s not failure. That’s evolution.
Needs Are Not Fixed. Neither Are Solutions.
Human needs evolve. A toddler needs structure; a teenager needs identity; an adult may need meaning. In our professional lives, the need might shift from learning to leading, or from proving to preserving. Emotionally, we might grow from craving validation to seeking alignment.
When our inner needs shift, the methods we once used to meet them may become mismatched. A job that once excited you may now feel like a cage. A coping mechanism that once protected you might now limit your growth. The friendships you relied on for support may start to feel out of sync with who you’re becoming.
This misalignment isn’t a breakdown. It’s a clue.
The Myth of Failure
There’s a quiet shame we sometimes carry when something stops working. We think we must’ve broken it — or worse, broken ourselves. But often, what we’re experiencing isn’t dysfunction. It’s dissonance.
Dissonance between old methods and new needs.
That habit of over-preparing? It got you through early career insecurity, but now it’s draining your energy. That tendency to say yes to everything? It made you likable, but now it’s erasing your boundaries. These patterns didn’t fail you. You outgrew them.
Let Go to Level Up
Think of a snake shedding its skin or a hermit crab finding a bigger shell. It’s not weakness; it’s biology. Growth is messy. Shedding is necessary.
Instead of clinging to strategies that once brought results, we can ask:
- What am I truly needing now?
- What part of me is still chasing yesterday’s problems with yesterday’s solutions?
- What new tools, boundaries, or beliefs am I ready to try?
Honor the Past, Embrace the Shift
There’s no shame in acknowledging that what once worked… no longer does. In fact, it’s a powerful act of self-awareness. You’re not backsliding. You’re becoming.
Growth isn’t about fixing what’s broken. It’s about adapting to what’s changed.
So the next time you feel like you’re “failing” at a method, ask yourself instead: Is it time for a new map?
Because if your needs have shifted, your methods should too.
TL;DR: Don’t confuse change with failure. Outgrowing your old ways is not a problem — it’s progress in disguise.