There’s a saying that has quietly made its way from coaching circles into boardrooms, classrooms, and even dinner table wisdom: “You can’t read the label from inside the jar.”
It’s catchy. It’s visual. But most importantly—it’s true.
The Curse of Being Too Close
When you’re immersed in your own work, your own habits, your own company culture, or even your own thoughts, it becomes incredibly difficult to see what others can observe almost immediately. You start to assume, normalize, or even defend things that are no longer effective or aligned.
That’s because, metaphorically speaking, you’re inside the jar. And from that vantage point, the label—which often holds critical information like your strengths, blind spots, or how others perceive you—is invisible.
Labels Are for the World to See
Think about what a label does:
- It communicates what’s inside.
- It sets expectations.
- It creates clarity for others.
But none of that is for you, the contents. The label exists for someone else. Whether that’s your audience, your customers, your colleagues, or your community—it’s their perception of you that defines how you’re read, received, and remembered.
You might be strawberry jam with a label that says “mystery sauce.” That disconnect can cost opportunities, trust, and growth—simply because you’re unaware of how you’re coming across.
Why Feedback, Reflection, and Outside Input Matter
This is why feedback isn’t a threat—it’s a flashlight. It’s why mentors, advisors, therapists, editors, and co-founders can spot things you’ve missed for years. And why stepping away from your work for a day or two often leads to sudden clarity.
Sometimes it takes a coach. Sometimes it takes a crisis. Often, it just takes someone asking, “Do you realize how that comes across?”
The goal isn’t to fear the jar—but to occasionally climb out of it.
How to Get Out of the Jar (Without Breaking It)
- Invite feedback regularly – not just when something’s broken.
- Use reflection tools – journaling, retrospectives, 360 reviews.
- Switch contexts – new environments often bring new perspectives.
- Bring in outsiders – fresh eyes can spot what the familiar overlooks.
- Test assumptions – ask: “What if I’m wrong about this?”
Final Thought: Become Label-Aware
Clarity comes from perspective, not proximity.
So if you’re feeling stuck, misunderstood, or like your efforts aren’t landing—maybe it’s not you. Maybe you’re just too deep in the jar to read the label. And maybe it’s time to let someone else read it to you—or help you rewrite it.
Because once you understand how you’re seen, you can decide how you want to be seen.